Polunsky Unit, Livingston, Texas
25 years in solitary / ad seg
Charles
MAMOU
August 9, 2024
Words by CHARLES MAMOU
Photography by TEXAS LETTERS
“FINDING MYSELF”
I’m more Cain than Abel
More of a Jacob
than a Esau
now isn’t that a complicating issue
Growing up I didn’t have monsters hiding
under my bed
because they all resided in my head
Lights on…
clap twice and my brain’s lights went off
everyone wants to be a boss
but at what cost
Teenage years a blur
hustling crack out of match boxes
signing a contract to absorb and inflict
violence
Victim?
Victimizer?
Or Victor?
Feeling out of place
Until Murder was case they gave me
cell door slams
gangbanging on roaches and spiders began
casted into a delusional box of Lost and Found
sniffed out by judicial hounds
who swear I’m Hell-bound
Isolated
Decades spent alone
Tearing down my old self
to create a newness within me
someone I can finally beyond the internet’s imagery
To call my own
sadness turned into acceptance
anger manifested into accountability
fear is now chivalry
I was born to live
and to live one must die
Chapter 11 is my past
I’m investing in today
Looking forward to my tomorrow’s-ME
See I’m always
FINDING MYSELF!
Written by: Charles ‘Chucky’ Mamou / 2024
“Sometimes”
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again
living in a world free of sin
Free from wars that has no meaning
Sure!
I’m still California Dreamin
Leaning on my own understandings
Tired of Politicians’ deceptive grandstanding
telling you what you want to hear
so they can get your vote
It’s either the Ballot or the Bullet
not watermelon nor chicken
and just because I eat at Chick-fil-A
dont make me anti-gay
it just means I accept marriage to mean a husband and a wife
I’m Pro-life
To Be or Not To Be…
Live and Let Live…
and yet,
Sometimes…
I just want to kick back and eat a pork sandwich
While watching Charlotte play with her web in search for Wilbur
Follow me?
Sometimes
Some times society can be a cruel place
often making me feel like a mental-case
worrying about my family’s safety
Not caring whether or not the Executioner hates me
Humans will always be at odds with Humanity
it’s the essence of Insanity
“One Nation Under God,”has never existed
Uncle Sam keeps murderers enlisted
Never forget My Lai of 1968
Sometimes it can be a little too much
I feel that I’ve grown out-of-touch
I shun liars
And speak the truth
having immature folks call me a nincompoop
my mother tells me I just don’t understand
while I explain I speak with the tongue of a changed man
My so-called friends say these nine pounds of steele
has messed with my brain
Sometimes…
I only wish they could feel my pain
Written by: Charles ‘Chucky’ Mamou