The struggle is still alive and growing. Instead of being an excruciating sensation, it’s more like a throbbing sensation. You know it’s there and you feel it, but it’s not like how it ust to be. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m accustomed to this lifestyle now or because Im at the end of my sentence. Only time will tell. Years of mistreatment and being neglected as a human being has to take a toll on anyone. In my case it has numbed my heart, I don’t feel the way I ust to. Love? I couldn’t even begin to try to express the way it’s supposed to be expressed. I cant help but bring my baggage with me to every relationship or situationship I indulge in. Emotionally, I am 7 years old, and Im stuck in that. I most likely need counseling. Two papers taped on my wall with shampoo stickers. One reminding me to read Psalms 56 and daily devotional every morning. The other one is my 5-day-a-week workout schedule. Those are there, because there are days I just want to lay in bed and drown in self-pity. “Lord, please give me strength.” I can honestly say I say that prayer at least 25 times a day. It works more than it has ever worked before in my life.